Hamster, ma'am

15.10.10


Woerden, The Netherlands


The title of the post is the punchline to a joke going something like this:
A woman goes into a pet shop asking for recommendations for a new family pet. She notices the shop owner has something furry in and around his mouth but tries to ignore it, which gets increasingly harder as the conversation progresses. Finally, she can't take it any longer and asks, "Excuse me, sir, but what is that in and around your mouth?" "Oh, it's just my furry-tongue-and-mouth-region illness. It's perfectly normal in this part of the world, " he quickly responds and continues explaining the benefits of King Cobras over anacondas as pets. "Wait a tick, what part of the world would that be?" the curious woman inquires. "It's called the Aristocrats. I mean Hamster, ma'am."

It's something about Freudian slips, that's all I know.

Anyways, Amsterdam is a nice little place that you may know from its regionally famous Van Gogh museum. Or something about sex, drugs, and drug-sex. I was never a good judge of popular opinion, anyway. However, let it be known that Amsterdam offers far more than just "a good time," which can be taken three different ways depending on which part of the city you are in. The network of canals and waterways slices the city into over a hundred different islands that are connected by loads of crisscrossing bridges. Other than the infamous Red Light District, where the lights are vibrant and always beckoning, the most striking and unfamiliar feature of this place is the thousands of bikes that are constantly zipping around the roads, more numerous - and more deadly to a pedestrian - than cars. Not only is everyone riding to and fro, but they are doing it while on the phone or dressed to the nines. It seems that the Amsterdamish view bike riding as a necessary part to life in the city and have adapted their lives to accommodate this mode of transportation. Indeed, I saw more absurd styles of bikes here than I ever have in all my years of watching bikes: people sitting on racks presumably meant to double as seats, babies using the same type of contraption set over the front wheel, foldable bikes, bikes with motors, generator lights, bells everywhere, and everybody's favorite giant wheel-shaped steering bars. This city defied my expectations, as the R.L.D. was ten times more touristy than I expected and felt very tame, despite the scantily-clad ladies signaling to everyone that walked by that they were interested (it feels actually quite awful to not be pointed at when you make eye contact). At the same time, the bars that peppered every street were packed with all types of people who seemed to be having a great but not out of the ordinary time. In short, the city is very much alive and well, though the red lights are gaudy and more of a spectacle than anything. I wonder what they were like ten years ago... anyone have any experience? Grandpa? (haha but I'm serious they visited only I don't know how long ago).

Alright, we are off to find a B&B, our first since that first fabled day in Dublin. We need to get dry and gather our energy for a solid ride tomorrow. Wish us luck, and ask yourself, who will stop the rain, then bribe whoever it is that you answered to make it happen!

Thank you in advance.

Stay strong, stay young!